At my age I tend to lean toward old friends and family. All those who you know that have never done you wrong. You can add the expression “those that never did wrong by you”. So what would cause someone to turn against you? I googled and got to Quora.com. I harvested some reasons I agree with. What is sad is someone has to admit they are wrong. But no one wants to admit to you that you are correct and they are wrong. They definitely will not admit to doing you wrong.

• One of may reasons folks do you wrong is due to their effort to gain power through bullying you. They are probably jealous of you or feel threatened by your competence.Their aggression is often perceived as confidence. In reality it is a masking of their insecurities. It is important to try and identify the root cause of the issue and address it in a constructive manner. If you are experiencing this kind of situation, it may be helpful to seek the advise of a trusted friend or professional. What are some ways to identify the to root cause of an issue? This is a complex process, but here are some steps that may help. 1) Identify the people who have turned against you and what their motivations might be. Are they someone you know well or a stranger? what is their relationship to you and why might they want to turn others against you? 2) Look for patterns in the behavior of the of the people who have turned against you. Are there commonalities in their actions such as timing, location, or triggers. Are they acting alone or is there a group involved? 3) Ask questions: Talk to the people who have turned against you and try to understand their perspective. Ask them why they are behaving the way they are and try to listen without getting defensive. 4) Reflect on your own behavior: take a step back and reflect on your own behavior. Is there anything you may have done to contribute to the situation? Are there any misunderstanding that need to be cleared up? 5) Seek outside perspectives: If you are having trouble identifying the root cause of the issue, seek the help of a trusted friend, family member, or professional. They may be able to offer a fresh prospective and help you identify the underlying problem. Remember identifying the root cause of an issue takes time and patience. Be open-minded and willing to listen to all perspectives. By doing so, you’ll increase your chances of resolving the issue in a constructive and positive manner.
• Another reason might be that person wants to drag you down to make themselves feel better. If you are living a good life or enjoying great success a person who does not like the way you do things may only be able to go forward by degrading you. They degrade you to themselves and to others to improve their own self-image. Friends sometimes stab you in the back because of their own insecurity, jealousy or to get back at you. I once had a friend who was a Don Juan (is a legendary, fictional Spanish libertine who devotes his life to seducing women). He was very successful and carried the physical features to shoulder the name and the load. It was exciting to me to divulge to one girl, who he had pledged his devotion to, to show evidence of just the opposite. A photo of him in bed with another women. What would cause me to do that? I wanted her for myself. But , to see another be deceitful and display dishonest behavior and try to get away with it is infuriating. It should not be tolerated. It is unfortunate that the trait of dishonesty and narcissism is being exulted in many circles today. Why would anyone aid and abet such behavior.

Is it human nature that we go through life getting back at people for what ever reason. Probably in retaliation but maybe due to bad information. I had a superior who, I felt, was going out of their way to expose my weakness. He became my enemy and I did all I could to network with others and find some thread to his meanness. I later discovered that he had been mandated to ostracize all employees of a certain age and replace them with talented young people who would work for less. Secondly the new hire would not receive as much compensation for hitting the same goals. I was written up for failure to produce desired results and fired. I am thrilled today to have heard that most of the entire management team of that era was fired with no severance pay. What goes around comes around.

But, let get back to who do you trust? We experience life changes, some we can control and others we can not. After losing my job I was faced with some big decisions. The good news was I was receiving full benefit from my social security Insurance as was my wife though I had continued working. I started a Handyman business and tried to use my experience as a craftsmen to help folks. In a windfall settlement on some legal issues I was able to relieve myself of all debt. I grew up working hard to earn enough money to do the things I wanted to do and with my children all on their own and moving toward the peak of Marlow’s Triangle I felt blessed and at the peak of the triangle myself. As I worked to help folks with projects around their homes I worked with many financially secured folks spending money to make life better or maintain their investment. Of course many to add features and benefits. What I also ran into was very poor low income homeowners that had serious issues trying to keep up their homes. Older folks that were in a low income bracket with a fixed income which was way less than the cost to live & much less than the cost to keep up their home. Their option was to sell and clear out of their home or live in constant debt and buy as much time as the utility company and the tax collector would allow. Secondly came the code enforcement folks that would fine you for not cleaning up your yard or mowing the weeds. In time they, the county, would do the work, charge an outrageous price and charge the fee to your property taxes. They offered no relief since most times the taxes were delinquent which disqualified the homeowner for help. To move out of their homes and into a care facility would soon rob the homeowner of all the property value and monthly income. Thus be forced to become a ward of the state and be cared for by our tax dollar.

As D&R Services found more calls from these folks it was decided that a charitable organization be established that could call on volunteers and ask for donations to exacerbate the help. In 2016 Habitaciones Para Latinos Association was founded to help the Latino Community. Many in that demographic were hurting the most. As word spread the most savvy of folks started calling. Those folks were not the Latinos as the Latino Culture, who tended to be more self-sufficient to the extent of suffering more than they should.

To minimize being labeled a racist the organization the charity soon became known as HPLA Charities. It was open to all cultures and the focus of the charities advertising was to attract more families of all cultures. The client base became filled with poor folks of all cultures. As Covid 19 reared its ugly head the needs to help low income homeowners became greater, the contributions less and the list of volunteers few. A friend suggested to the “Kansas City Star” newspaper that they should focus on what Latinos bring to the community and thus a staff of reporters and videographers came calling on HPLA. On December 28, 2022 a beautiful four to five page full front page headline, as well as a video interview that was published on-line brought, great attention to the cause. the www.hplacharities.org/donate webpage got lots of hits. One $10.00 a month autopsy is still active today. D&R Services continued working at a discount for these same folks and officers of the company agreed that 90% of all profits retained by D&R Services would go to HPLA Charities. Due to COVID and lack of paid work D&R Services was dissolved in 2022 after 22 years of service.

Today HPLA has helped hundreds of families and is currently paying some of those families who can help do work for the charity, a small wage. These folks are still upside down on income to outgo so paying a grocery bill or a utility bill, for them, is better than getting a check. There has been a great deal of trust developed with our clients. They are still suffering way more than they deserve but the cost of living keeps getting way ahead of their ability to catch it. They are hard working faithful people who just need a leg up. We are just a band-aid. In closing the few hundreds of dollars we get to help are far outnumbered by huge charities with paid grant writers and paid management. Our clients can’t even get a returned call from them.

HPLA has never paid a salary to anyone. All funds go to benefit our clients. So please trust us as your fiduciary to pay your donations forward to these grass roots families lost in the weeds of bureaucracy and red tape. www.hplacharites.org/donate